Double Probation Alert: Noah

Noah is on double probation for putting me on probation for the "Springfield Library" mistake when in fact it was Dan who said it.

Commendation: David Long

David Long is commended because at dinner, when he looked confused about where to go and I said "the food's over there, not on that empty table," he said "oh, I thought maybe it was like Hook and we just had to imagine the food."

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for saying "the Springfield Library!" instead of "the Springfield River!" when finishing the "I'm a big four-eyed lame-o and I wear the same stupid sweater everyday..." quote.

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for trailing off when using the "magic picture" quote from Family Guy because he was afraid of messing it up and being put on probation.

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for saying "I didn't kill anyone" instead of "I didn't kill my wife" while quoting the fugitive. His tentative tone when using the quote is noted as a mitigating factor. However, he is still totally on probation.

Probation Alert: Me

I'm totally on probation for jinxing Nasha's flight time by commending her for it. Now it's definitely going to be delayed for like 2 hours and there's no way we will make it back for Arrested Development.

Commendation: Nasha

Nasha receives a commendation for scheduling her flight to arrive at 6:30 on Sunday. This time allows Sam and me to leave after the basketball games are over and still return before Arrested Development starts. (However, both she and the airline will be put on severe probation if we miss Arrested Development because the flight is delayed.)

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for putting "By the way, you have 'BALLS' written on your face." in his profile instead of "By the way, it says 'BALLS' on your face." And for leaving Ross with nothing to do.

Commendation: Lee

Lee is commended for putting OSP on probation for including a program (Stanford-in-Washington) that is not overseas.

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for referring to "the museum exhibit in the Simpsons with A Day in the Life of an Irish Woman." The scene in question comes from Family Guy.

Commendation: David Long

David Long receives a commendation for wearing a "Rex Kwon Do" T-shirt.
"Strength...of a grizzly!"
"Reflexes...of a puma!"
"Wisdom...of a man!"

"Bow to your sensei!"

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for saying "Your friend is a nerd" instead of "Your roommate is a nerd."

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for saying "you can't make friends with salad" instead of "you don't win friends with salad."

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for saying "Good story, Hansel" instead of "Cool story, Hansel."

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is still on probation for referring to Monster Island as "Dinosaur Island."

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on double probation for repeating Dan's mistake and saying "Come on, baby, sign the treaty" instead of "Come on, sign the treaty baby."

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for trying to claim that Jen was stupid for not knowing that "tracts of land" is from The Princess Bride when it is in fact from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim accidentally merged two quotes: "Kids, which brings me to my next point: don't smoke crack" (from The Waterboy) and "and that's why, you don't teach lessons to your son" (from Arrested Development). He said "and that's why, you don't smoke crack."

Probation Alert: Jess H

When quoting Celebrity Jeopardy, Jess said "It's hot coffee!" instead of "It's hot tea!"

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for saying "It's seeping under the door!" instead of "Uh oh, it's seeping in!"

Probation Alert: Georgia

Georgia is on probation for saying "subscribing...to magazines" instead of "subscribing...to some magazines."

Commendation: Preston

Preston has earned a commendation for wearing a "CTU" shirt.

Probation Alert: Jess H

Jess is on probation for referring to "John the Shrubber." It's totally Roger.

Commendation: Mike

Mike is commended for correctly recognizing the source of my quote:
"That's bigamy."
"No, that's big o' ME!"
as Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Summer Vacation.

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for incorrectly quoting the nihilist as saying "Give us the money, Lebowski" instead of "We want the money, Lebowski."

Commendation: Liz

Liz is commended for responding to "Do you know who LT is?" with "Of course I do - Lawrence Taylor. 'Which brings me to my next point: Don't smoke crack.'"

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for incorrectly quoting Dan as having said, "Stop being such a fucking woman and make a decision." The word "fucking" actually comes before "decision" rather than "woman."

Probation Alert: Dan

I said "Come on, sign the treaty baby." Dan is on probation for saying that it was actually "Come on, baby. Sign the treaty."

Commendation: Tim

Tim is commended for coming up with "It's a league name, Smokey" as the name for our fantasy baseball league.

Commendation: Noah

When brainstorming ideas for Tim's potential marriage proposal, Noah came up with "Ice to marry you!"

Probation Alert: Noah

Noah referred to penisland.com (it's http://www.penisland.net/).

Probation Alert: Blatnik

Dan is on probation for saying, "This is not 'Nam. There are rules, Smokey." It's "Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.''

Probation Alert: Noah

Noah said "Joe Montana was a quarterback, you crazy asshole." He totally mixed up two quotes: "Joe Montana was a quarterback, you idiot" and "You said it was going to be a touchdown pass, you crazy asshole."

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for intentionally misspelling "careful" as "carfeul" in a stupid attempt at humor that fell flat.

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for saying "He pizzaed when he should have french fried" instead of "He french fried when he should have pizzaed."

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for misquoting Dieter as saying "Touch it! Touch the monkey!" instead of "Touch him! Love him! Liebe meine Abst-monkey!"

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for miscalculating the non-bullshit shot-to-goal ratio at 3/7 instead of 7/3.