Probation Alert: Matt Gentry

Matt Gentry is on probation for misspelling "Blatnik" as "Blatnick" when referring to Dan Blatnik's 3D Softball '98.

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for not moving the cursor to select the appropriate episode of 24 while we were waiting for Sam to come back from the kitchen.

Probation Alert: Noah and Sam

Noah and Sam are both on probation for being absent at 9pm on Monday night, therefore preventing the viewing of 24 at its regularly scheduled time.

Commendation: Nasha

Nasha is commended for leaving Durand so that Sam would be available to watch 24.

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for having to ask about the "You expect me to finish all of this?" quote, something he's already been put on probation for screwing up. He has to learn from his mistakes; the probation blog is nothing if not an educational tool.

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for thinking that the quote from Mitch's toast in Old School was "ready to tag team your girlfriend" when it is actually "ready to double team your girlfriend."

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for trying to put me on probation when http://snl.jt.org/ep.php?i=0105058 and http://snl.jt.org/detail.php?i=7163 both clearly list him as "Scott Jergensen."

Probation Alert: Kara

Kara is on double probation for saying "I have been lifting weights and shooting crack all day!" when it is actually "I have been lifting weights and doing cocaine all day!" Furthermore, you can't shoot crack - you can only smoke it.

Probation Alert: Noah

Noah is on probation for pointing out that I used "Jurgensen" instead of "Jergensen" when it is in fact "Jurgenson."
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/00/00roffice.phtml

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on probation for spelling it "Jurgensen" in his away message instead of "Jergensen."

Probation Alert: Liz

Liz is on probation for making Preston go to athlete formal.

Probation Alert: Preston

Preston is on probation for going to athlete formal instead of watching the finale of 24.

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for getting doubled off third base.

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for incorrectly identifying "Canned Heat" by Jamiroquai as the song from Lindsay's cage dance in Arrested Development. It is from Napoleon Dynamite. The song from AD is "Bad Girls" by Donna Summer.

Commendation: Dan

Dan receives a commendation for beating Komputer Kontroller AND Cosmonaut Zero.

Probation Alert: Noah

Noah is on probation for missing 19 seconds of 24 coming back from a commercial break.

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for misspelling "Ignignokt" when putting Ned on probation.

Commendation: Nasha

Nasha is commended for calling Sam during 24 just to make fun of him when he picked up the phone.

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for taking a call on his cell phone during 24.

Commendation: Noah

Noah is commended for not turning on the light or closing the door when going to the bathroom in order to not miss the beginning of 24.

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for referring to Noah's male-oriented view of homosexuality as "homonormative" when the correct word would have been "andronormative."
Also, he thought India had more people than China.

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on double probation for missing the first 4 minutes of24.

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for missing the first minute of 24.

Probation Alert: Kara

Kara is on probation for creating an away message reading "What type of wood was that?" instead of "What kind of wood was that?" while referring to SNL's "The Terry Gantner Family Workout."

Commendation: Kevin

Kevin is also commended for being almost as large as David Long.

Commendation: Kevin

Kevin is commended for having sex with a really fat girl because he thought it would be funny and still thinking it's funny even though his current girlfriend is upset by it.

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on so much fucking probation for putting Sam on probation because of something for which he was already put on probation on April 27. He's violating Sam's Fifth Amendment rights.

Probation Alert: Tim

Tim is on probation for quoting Karl Hungus as "I heard there is a problem vit deine kabel" instead of "Meine dispatcher says there is something wrong vit deine kabel."

Probation Alert: Dan

Dan is on so much fucking probation for putting Sam on probation because of something for which he was already put on probation on April 27. He's violating Sam's Fifth Amendment rights.

Probation Alert: Sam

Sam is on probation for posting his commendation of Nasha twice (and for failing to correct his error in a timely manner).